Perhaps

the problem is,

we are all

living

a beautiful story

but are

completely

unaware.

Feed your soul with places you have never been to, with people you have never known, with moments you have never lived and watch yourself grow.. 

into a more beautiful you.

________

Picture source: self

"As long as you're dancing, you can break the rules."

There are too many stories waiting for me to let you go, to draw new galaxies, to make way for them, give them life, give them dreams, break their heart, crush them bad and teach them how to keep dancing in the wild wind even if it may uproot them in the end.

Because there are too many stories waiting beyond this chaos, to taste life

and tonight,

I'm willing to let you go.

________

Heading source: Three Things to Remember by Mary Oliver.

Picture Source: eVike

Earl grey

I would probably lose all the energy that is left in me, trying to figure out the right way, the acceptable way to taint my bizarrely beautiful thoughts with words for you. so instead I will just watch my cup of tea, thinking how long would it be before it loses its infiltrating scent and makes me yearn for more love, for more moments like this. 

You know why? because we shouldn't break the silence that we are addicted to.

Picture source: a friend trying to capture the moment.

Insignificance.

Wouldn't it be easier
if we stop seeking answers to things like
what is more scary,
the infinity above us or the infinity within us?
Because this one solitary thought
of fading insignificantly in either of the two
stealthily walks in
when you
look
away.
______

Picture Source: self

The odds.

you remember the sound that dispersed quietly in the background after uneven pieces of a glass hit the floor on which you and I stood, barefoot, looking into each others eyes. blank. paused. dead with half open lips waiting for residual words to come out and fall on the floor with those uneven pieces of glass lying so still. so still and placid like a baby hushed to sleep after a night full of breathless cries and we stood barefoot on the cold floor waiting for some life to happen to us, hanging by a thread in the middle of a serpentine void as it locked itself around us. between us. within us. You remember that dreadful sound? It rings at the back of my mind, whenever I, subconsciously like a ritual.. breathe your name.

_______

Time tells the truth.

I have known you more in your silence than in your words,

your beguilingly pleasing

words.

_______

...

And then one day I will brush off the splintered pieces of storm that was once my whole life and gradually crawl away.. uncovered, unguarded but not vulnerable. because fighting fear is the most beautiful yet terrifying way to know that you are strong and that you always have been.

______

Picture Source: unknown

Today, I'll be an inspiration.

There will always be a world swarmed with bouts of drama and cheap gimmicks. There will always be a world where innocence fades to dust like a natural process of fulfilling its only purpose. That world, that place, those people, those eyes will always, always make you feel terrible for once being a part of it. You will be dejected and despaired. You will flutter against the grey walls of their low lives. You will feel breathlessly awful and sad for yourself.. but feeling awful can be a good sign too. You look for signs at every step, at every little corner. Signs and their hidden, mysterious meanings. Here, i give you a sign.
You feel awful because you are not meant to stoop down and feel sharp fragments of hatred all over the skin and puckered fingertips. You are meant to rise! You are meant to go beyond the weary world adorned with amorphous thoughts of weary people. They are dead and the air around them is painfully stale. And you on the other hand, are the best thing you can ever be. Use this sign and take a leap of faith because this is how it was meant to happen.

And learning life is never easy.

_______

Ghar :)

Wish you a very Happy Diwali dear readers.

People look for inspiration all the time, knowingly or unknowingly. This Diwali, be somebody else's inspiration and trust me, it will be your best Diwali gift.

such is silence..

sometimes it soothes,

sometimes it

haunts.

______

...

When you have bruises on the knee,

there are stories to tell

and a world to inspire.
_____

Hush.

Locked up in a paradoxical emotion

I waited for the storm,

and you

gave me-

a lifetime of silence.

_____

Picture Source

You will always have you to be with.

It is okay to not do the thing
you want to do for days
at a stretch,
wonder while staring
at the tangerine paint on your pretty feet,
of words
you want to vomit,
of thoughts
you want to
share
with the world that pretends to listen
to care, to love, to smile, to give a fuck.
It is okay to not do the thing
and spend days reading
dirty old notes
of a dirty old man
and not struggle
to breathe through
the serpentine locks of
melancholy
and just be there for a while longer
still, unloving, undying.

It is okay to think of it as a lie,
a joke maybe
just maybe
this could be unreal
But what is the thing
you want it to be.
what is the thing you dearly seek.
a peaceful sleep,
an honest talk,
some mad people to share the madness.

There is always a reason, love
there is always a reason which makes
writers crazy
and when there is none,
they slyly create one.
______

Naivety.

Tell me, why do you cringe?

Life and death are as amusing as you and I,

embalmed in a labyrinth

which doesn't make sense.

No, it doesn't make sense.

______

Picture Source

June Chronicles

As life moves on,

I pause to cut off the string that troubles

and tighten the one that once went lose.

June has been hectic but a satisfying month. I traveled more than half of the time and the rest went in writing exams, watching Game of Thrones, sleeping and all that stuff you do when you're bored. Some old relations got renewed and I feel so good about it and some not so old ones got buried deep within the crust of past and I feel good about that too.

The highlight of the month is my visit to my childhood place Kanpur. It was overwhelming to walk on that old aisle, to watch the change which the place underwent and yet how beautifully it held the warmth I went looking for. I don't love the city because it is Kanpur, I love it because my younger self still breathes the air of those narrow streets and whimsical junctures which hold so many stories. I love it because it holds close to the bosom the unadulterated innocence, the incongruous dreams which once blustered through my little head and those nascent aspirations which I had forgotten about.

It was lovely to relive the happy times with my friends there. They are beautiful people and it did not feel like we were meeting after ages. It felt like yesterday. My visit was short.. just two days. But it was enough to rebuilt the lost love.

But before Kanpur, I went on a week long trip to Barot with my college friends. Barot is a beautiful valley in Himachal Pradesh which gave me nth number of bitter sweet memories. It would be unfair to not write a detailed travel post on how amazingly well my trip went in the streets of this less known valley. But that will happen in a few days.

Right now, I'm preparing myself for the next journey. Yes, there is one more place left. But it is not for a vacation. It is for an internship. I will be moving to a new city for the next whole month. Myriad apprehensions are making me go crazy!!! But one thing which I'm really happy about is that I will finally step out of my cocoon and live alone in a new city. It's scary but it's equally exciting too. Wish me luck, my friend.

That's it for now. I missed so many posts of my favorites. Hopefully, if the new city treats me well, I will be regular here again.

Much love.
_______

Picture Source: That's me, somewhere in Barot.

The real misery lies in walking on with empty souls, beguiling faces and monstrous minds.

...

We will always be our heroes

because we die each day in our make believe lives.

Red skies and dull streets.

Today the skies are red,

today the streets are duller.

Long taut wires

from the pole right there,

today I watch them sag

like a love-struck snare.

It's not a game but a crime is it?

when I curse you in love

in the soft hypnotic voice,

like the star that flickers incessantly

when I hem the moon

inside my bent fingers.

The red skies

and the dull streets

eclipse the 2am love making,
unopened for years together

inside one sneaky corner.

Or the technicolored dream

and the never ending verse.

I reach out,

it escapes

faster than my breath

and the hazy rays of the sun that

fail to touch the ocean's deepest bed.

It is shut, it is gone.

The dream is gone.

Because the skies are red

and my mind is beautifully torn

into crumpled dead leaves

by the footsteps on dull streets.

So I curse and smile

with fidgeting fingers across my skin.

I always knew I was a sinner.

I always knew it was a crime.

______

Picture Source

They call me a drug.

From the tip of your broken nail

up the arms

up the skin

this girl crawls, climbs

through the limbs,

silences the pulsating sound

and that little brainy thing you have.

Unwinds the cord of unbeknownst senses

layer by layer

captures you from your loose clutches.

Cautious is what you were supposed to be.

Glad I am,

for the mistake you did.

Not transient, it's a lifelong mess.

They call me a drug, kid.

______