1 am conversation

How funny is this? As much as we crave change, as much as we desire new, random, beautiful and out of this world experiences, there is always a part of us that wants to go back to where we started from, to stay close to everything familiar, everything that once felt like home.

This is how I've been since past few months. 

I haven't taken a break. I've been writing a lot. I've been reading a lot. I'm well updated in what you guys are up to, what my favorite people are feeling, writing and going through these days and I have a lot to say to you all, so here I go.

It is great to see you back in action Kayla, missed your gorgeous words so much. PeeVee, I am in awe with the way you write bro, how are you so amazing? Oh my god Red, you are back! Did I tell you I stalked you thoroughly when I saw your comment? D your new blog and the name is breathtaking. The last post where you wrote 'Not having something to say shouldn't keep me from writing anymore, I should just write.' I want to thank you for this. Ankita, you woman are shining like a diamond. I am very happy for your latest books love. Soumya, Twisha, Emma, Ridx, Anisha, Keirthana gosh, I missed you ladies (sincere apologies if I've missed out your name). And my readers, both old and new. You make me feel safe, you make me feel at ease whenever I think about this blog and I am incredibly thankful for that. I've realized I get too weepy and sentimental when I write about what this blog has been to me, what you all have been to me and I think the best part is that you being a blogger yourself, can understand this so well. You know there is a mess in our head and it is okay to let it out and feel sooo much at once.

Writing is and will always be the most beautiful form of meditation for me, for us. 

I'm currently more active on another platform, Instagram: @writingsofvinati. It is new, it is fresh, more convenient to handle and it gives me that push to outdo myself every time I read my previous posts. I think I have fallen in love with this art all over again. Writing community is as encouraging on Instagram as it is here. But honestly, I do miss the familiarity of Blogger, the familiarity of having friends who have seen me evolve, seen me grow into a less confused and wayward being. So if you are on Instagram, do drop by and say hi. I would love to see you there.

Lastly, here is my current favorite song for you. This is how you make me feel.

Lana Del Rey: Because of you (unreleased)

I think I should get a tattoo of her name. I'm clearly obsessed.

That's all for now.

I hope to see you on the other side.

_________

Comet muse

Look closely, 

it is not dying. 

this fire 

has just

begun, 

the light has just 

started to spread, 

the clouds 

have just

parted for the sun,

and the world has only

paused

for breath.

Look closely, 

i am just turning 

into a galaxy,   

kissing 

one star,

one comet 

at a 

time.

_______

Here's to new beginnings and never growing up.

Happy new year!

xox

Mornings with Sinatra

Hello
I am here again.

How have you been? Do you still read me?

Oh, I love you.

I will not say things like 'Gosh, December is here already.' or 'Where did the year go? Was I sleeping the whole time?' or the same old cliched 'Time flies' nonsense. No, time doesn't always fly. Sometimes it just sits like a huge rock in the middle of the road, unwilling to budge, break, move, shift or crawl.

Needless to say, I am glad we are almost done with twenty fifteen and in case no one wants to know, I'm doing good. I'm healthy and fit. Still a lawyer and a self-proclaimed mad poet, surviving the banality of life with the help of Sinatra. Actually, Lana Del Rey too. Remember a month ago I was obsessing over the song High by the beach. Well now it is Music to watch to boys to. I think I have broken my personal record by playing this one on repeat for over a week. I absolutely l.o.v.e this song. Especially when one is in the gym surrounded by insanely hot guys working out, listening to this song makes one feel like the goddamn queen from a classic movie. Now who wouldn't enjoy that!

In other news, I have decided to move. I have decided to replace Mirage. I'm not closing it down, just giving it a new identity. It is quite important for me to be able to connect to this place wholeheartedly like I did in the initial years and I think giving it a new name will surely help.

Presenting to you the new baby blog: Comet Muse

Not sure how long will it be before I incorporate this change. I have so many new ideas for the blog but I have to figure out the painstaking technicalities attached with using a domain name and have to be sure I don't mess up the backlinks. I'll share the new link of the website soon. Hope you would read along. You would, right?

P.S: Sincere apologies for not being able to reply to your comments and emails, life of a lawyer is so not like the one portrayed in Suits. Just saying.
Also, in case you are having a rough day.. here's a picture of my Frodo saying it's all going to be okay.

Would you look at those eyes?!!

Things I have been wanting to share.

• I started this blog just a week before stepping into law school and that was five long years ago. My college life is over, I'm officially a graduate. I'm officially a lawyer!
• I'm growing up too fast and I don't like it at all. Adulthood is scary, it is messed up and there is always too much to do. It's been more than a month since I turned 23 and it is as crazy as it was last year or the year before that. Honestly, I think in my head, I stopped growing up after 16.
• I got a job, like a real job in the real world and I am not yet accustomed to this feeling of having my own visiting cards that say that I'm an Associate. It is a lot to take in and I think I'm going to forget about it for a while.
• My brother visited us in June and gave my parents an out of this world surprise just by appearing one night. It was such a beautiful moment when I saw my mom scream and burst into tears as bhaiya walked in. Dad was in another city, so he refused to believe till we made a video call. And I.. well I managed the whole surprise by keeping the news with myself for two weeks, which was undoubtedly the toughest task. Somebody appreciate me please.
• A few days back, I received a mail which said that in some survey, Mirage has been selected among the Top 15 Personal Blogs in India, and that left me thrilled. To read somebody else's thoughts on my blog, on Mirage, it is a beautiful feeling. Of course, those thoughts have to be beautiful to make that feeling beautiful. eeeeep!
• And and, I'm going to bed now. I wanted to watch Game of Thrones today, but I couldn't because like I said, in grown-ups world, there is always too much to do and it is already midnight. And I have office tomorrow. Uh! Why can't I just refuse to grow up.
• Anyway, it feels great to share this with you.
• Thank you for reading.
• I love you.
• Here's a goodnight kiss.
• Go now.
• Shooo.

Hello twenty fifteen.

Less than an hour to new year.

Peppy party music reverberates somewhere in the distance, in an otherwise calm night. I am tucked in my blanket, hunched over the laptop screen with cold fingers on the keyboard, thinking of words, syllables, sentences to define what 2014 was to me. This ritual to reminisce what a year brought to us and what we gave in return, it is therapeutic and it gets even better when you prepare to bid goodbye to another set of memories, to put a final full stop at the end of another chapter, in the most peaceful manner.

But this time, instead of looking back, I plan to look ahead.

Sure, I had a lot of exceptionally awesome moments this year, but what is gone is gone. They have been placed neatly in my head. It is time to welcome a whole new bunch of memories that are waiting for their turn to treat us with love and hate.

So a very happy new year to you dear reader. Thank you for sticking with me through various dramas of life.

Oh and one last thing, ever since I stepped into law college, I barely got time to sit down and binge read at a stretch. But now as my college is almost over, I have decided that I will read a lot!!! No excuses, nothing.

yes, it's my resolution.

My dear friend Raaji from Writings For Life asked me to share a list of books I read this year. Pretty less, I know. But let the new year come!

__________

P.S: Feel free to share your list of books you read in 2014.

Find your voice.

__________

Months ago, I found this very creative art form by Austin Kleon, a writer and artist from Texas. It is called Newspaper Blackout poetry. All you have to do is take the daily paper and find a poem hidden among words, lines and spaces. Challenging yet so much fun, that is what it is. And I'm glad I finally tried it.

Because even angels fall

After days of working towards my dream, I have finally got a chance to write, to share, to update my little world out here.

It is very weird.. my current state of mind is totally confused. I am confused. I'm so confused! At one moment I feel extremely ecstatic to watch reality, gradually impersonating my most beautiful dream and then in a snap, I come out of it with unbearable stress.

Today, in the morning while I was going to college, my shuffled playlist played a song which I used to listen during the first year. It was one of my favorites back then and needless to say, I used to play it on repeat. The song is 'Even Angels Fall' by Jessica Riddle. It got famous from the movie '10 Things I Hate About You.' and I'm quite sure you must have heard it. If not, then please do listen. It is beautiful!

Anyway, there is this line in the lyrics - "One day it's heaven, one day it's hell" I have heard this song a gazillion times and never before did this line hit me. I cannot begin to express how perfectly it fits my current situation and how I'm in love with this song all over again.

Because you don't always need motivational quotes of great philosophers to heal, there are times when life's randomness makes you feel much much better. So, maybe the next time or the next next time you hear from me, my mind will be more clear with a dream in hand and better words to share.

Till then, keep loving me, will you?

Mirage.

_____

June Chronicles

As life moves on,

I pause to cut off the string that troubles

and tighten the one that once went lose.

June has been hectic but a satisfying month. I traveled more than half of the time and the rest went in writing exams, watching Game of Thrones, sleeping and all that stuff you do when you're bored. Some old relations got renewed and I feel so good about it and some not so old ones got buried deep within the crust of past and I feel good about that too.

The highlight of the month is my visit to my childhood place Kanpur. It was overwhelming to walk on that old aisle, to watch the change which the place underwent and yet how beautifully it held the warmth I went looking for. I don't love the city because it is Kanpur, I love it because my younger self still breathes the air of those narrow streets and whimsical junctures which hold so many stories. I love it because it holds close to the bosom the unadulterated innocence, the incongruous dreams which once blustered through my little head and those nascent aspirations which I had forgotten about.

It was lovely to relive the happy times with my friends there. They are beautiful people and it did not feel like we were meeting after ages. It felt like yesterday. My visit was short.. just two days. But it was enough to rebuilt the lost love.

But before Kanpur, I went on a week long trip to Barot with my college friends. Barot is a beautiful valley in Himachal Pradesh which gave me nth number of bitter sweet memories. It would be unfair to not write a detailed travel post on how amazingly well my trip went in the streets of this less known valley. But that will happen in a few days.

Right now, I'm preparing myself for the next journey. Yes, there is one more place left. But it is not for a vacation. It is for an internship. I will be moving to a new city for the next whole month. Myriad apprehensions are making me go crazy!!! But one thing which I'm really happy about is that I will finally step out of my cocoon and live alone in a new city. It's scary but it's equally exciting too. Wish me luck, my friend.

That's it for now. I missed so many posts of my favorites. Hopefully, if the new city treats me well, I will be regular here again.

Much love.
_______

Picture Source: That's me, somewhere in Barot.

...

Rebirth.

(Image Source)

Brushing against my face, the wind is forceful and rough

With every touch, it burns the skin. Oh! You know it hurts.

"Bottomless ditch awaits me,
 Catch me dear, if I fall.
Give me wings and let me fly
Because I no more want to crawl"

Your unkept promise still rings in my ears

It fools me through a facade of bliss

Drowns me deeper and deeper into nowhere

“I will never let you fall, I promise.”

Weak, I stand and sore feet bleed

Eyes are shut, the soul is freed.

To build my strength, I cradle a hope

To outshine the evil, I cradle it again

I smile at the death of this fiery wind

Laugh at the canvas which was once blue

Take pride in the rise of my sun, my world

And celebrate the birth of me without you!

Winged Dreams

Life's a roller-coaster ride, keeps on changing every second. It changes when you become habitual...It changes the moment you believe that OK, things are going to be the same for some time at least. Well, I may sound a bit philosophical but believe me this is what i recently experienced. Its not that i have never gone through such 'changes' but this one was pretty quick and sudden.

Remember just a few days or a week back i wrote that I'm super vella and have got nothing to do at all. Well i think god was listening to me at that time and so he turned my life upside down. This was pretty much expected but not so soon. I mean i created this blog because i thought i would be having plenty of time to share my thoughts, like i was having for the past one month. But as i said life changes every second.

OK now enough beating about the bush, let me tell you friends that I've joined a law school and my oh-so college life has finally begun :)

Sitting in a law school, learning about all that I've yearned for so long gives me so much peace to my mind and it becomes inexplicable when you see that your dream has started blooming. And the feeling is even stronger when you've waited for so long. There was a time when I'd lost all hope and stood in utter despair because of the 'stagnating phase' of my life. But as they say...'All's well that ends well'....and its good to be back on track.

Anyway, about my college life, i would say that its pretty good, mixtures of all kind makes it even more interesting, some are here just to flaunt their attire and fashion quotient while some are to get a real sense of law and their are few others who want to enjoy their college life thoroughly (and this includes me).

Well the journey is long...pretty long but with the winged dreams I'm all set to unfurl the surprises....all set to shine!!

Here I Come...

After spending days doing absolutely nothing , i finally came up with a good thought which was to create my own blog. Earlier whenever this thought entered my mind, i always felt that 'No' this blogging is not my cup of tea and honestly, i did not even have enough time...was busy with my 12th boards actually. But now i realized that its not that tough. I mean whatever i was writing in my diary, i could write here...and that would also save paper ;) 

After all something is and will always be better than 'nothing'. And for a 'vella' like me...this is seriously a good change.

So here i am... in the bloggers' world. Now lets see how far i can go :)