Today, I'll be an inspiration.

There will always be a world swarmed with bouts of drama and cheap gimmicks. There will always be a world where innocence fades to dust like a natural process of fulfilling its only purpose. That world, that place, those people, those eyes will always, always make you feel terrible for once being a part of it. You will be dejected and despaired. You will flutter against the grey walls of their low lives. You will feel breathlessly awful and sad for yourself.. but feeling awful can be a good sign too. You look for signs at every step, at every little corner. Signs and their hidden, mysterious meanings. Here, i give you a sign.
You feel awful because you are not meant to stoop down and feel sharp fragments of hatred all over the skin and puckered fingertips. You are meant to rise! You are meant to go beyond the weary world adorned with amorphous thoughts of weary people. They are dead and the air around them is painfully stale. And you on the other hand, are the best thing you can ever be. Use this sign and take a leap of faith because this is how it was meant to happen.

And learning life is never easy.

_______

Ghar :)

Wish you a very Happy Diwali dear readers.

People look for inspiration all the time, knowingly or unknowingly. This Diwali, be somebody else's inspiration and trust me, it will be your best Diwali gift.

...

When you have bruises on the knee,

there are stories to tell

and a world to inspire.
_____

The real misery lies in walking on with empty souls, beguiling faces and monstrous minds.

When my fears help me grow.

I don't remember how this fear entered my mind but I've always been scared of cockroaches. I know it is one of the most girly thing in the entire world but even if I hate to be a part of this category, I cannot help it. They are big disgusting insects and sometimes come with wings too. Why God why?!?? When I was in second grade, we shifted to a new city. My mom like always pestered me to meet new people of my size and be friends with them. They came to my place to play in the evening and I tried my best to make a good first impression by flaunting my big kitchen set and feeling proud with every 'ooh' and 'wow' reaction. But all my pride was washed away when a big cockroach entered my t shirt and I screamed in the highest pitch and jumped like a ninja making a complete fool of myself while the little people laughed incessantly. Though that broke the ice and gave me a wonderful childhood, my hatred and fear towards these freaky insects grew to a mountainous extent.

I fear deep dark waters too. I am a swimmer and I learned swimming when I was 6 or 7. Those were the days when I, a four ft. girl could play around with friends in a nine ft. deep pool, all day long and all night too. But as I grew up, this fear of deep dark waters started building up in my head and wrecked my swimming sessions. Now when I step into a pool, nobody in the world has the power to drag me to the deepest portion. I fear that someone might pull my legs from inside the pool and I would eventually drown. And that is perhaps, too much of Aahat (a horror series) etched in my mind.

Then there is fear of elevators. It is attributed to a heart-failing experience where I was with my parents in some old wobbly lift and after going up and down non stop for a couple of minutes, it got stuck somewhere in the middle. It was only when I bawled out and screamed, some people of that apartment came to our rescue. Yes, I was one hell of a screamer! Though I have recovered from the near death experience, I still sometimes fear stepping into an elevator when I am all alone.

Change. This is the most inevitable thing and yet I fear it the most. I fear change! It could be of any form. A change in my regular menu when I visit a restaurant, a change of place where I stay, a change of music that I listen to, a change of people that I like to be with, a change of dreams and aspirations and so on. My friends mock me because I fear to try new things in life. I try it when someone pesters me to but never on my own. And then I'm the one who wishes to travel the world and experience new things. How ironical! May be because somewhere in my mind I have this urge to conquer this fear. Yes, may be this is the reason.

When I am stuck in those days where I have nothing to work on, when I have no aim, no task to do, no movie to watch and no novel to read.. I use these fears and turn them into a purpose. Like stepping out of my comfort zone and be unprepared. A couple of weeks back, I went street shopping alone. I have never done that before and it was a big deal for me because I constantly need someone to fall back on. But that experience, oh it was different. I don't know good different or bad different, but it was something which I have never felt before. Standing alone in the middle of thousands of people and still not feeling depressed. Yes, it was different.

There are many more things that I fear and that scare the hell out of me but I think they are there just to give me a purpose when I lose one. So that makes them good, right! Except of course, cockroaches.

Anyway, you tell me. What are your fears?
_______

We will always be our heroes

because we die each day in our make believe lives.

Pause.

If time can pause

after every second, for a second

why can't we do the same

after every breath, for a breath?!

_______

Picture Source

Aftermath

We don't differ in appearance

says Dusk to Dawn,

We differ in the aftermath

of when we are gone.

_______

Picture source

A Thought

Before 1947: Ruled by White

After 1947: Ruled by gender bias, corruption, casteism, hypocrisy, inflation and so on

Where exactly is freedom?

What a Hoax.

This life which you and I are living, is a picture of some ugly art. It has a few little soothing shades placed on some portions, here and there. But overall, the picture is glum, ugly and a lot bitter. And we are nothing but a part of this ugliness. Or perhaps, some other world's hell.

But what if this picture does not even exist? What if the soothing shades are a charade, a deception, a lie? What if this life is a lie? A fucking big lie.

How sad! It sucks both ways. We are either surviving in a hell or living a life which is an illusion, a mirage.

For Life's Simplicity.

Sometimes when the only thing I admire or look up to loses its grace, I turn to you to rummage a world that might welcome me with open arms and embrace me with a kind and an affectionate touch. And that world is nothing but an embellishment of your comforting words.

You can call me susceptible, baby. But that does not worry me at all, as long as I have you. And let me be very honest here. Let me brace it up with truth. I have left my mind at the threshold. I do not require it, anymore. And I suggest you to do the same.

Staring at its countenance would lead you into nowhere.

Make an effort. Open the jammed door, silly.

And try to understand how I show the audacity and impudence (take it in a positive way) to stretch my limbs beyond conventions. To say that I am too stubborn to fall along the lines is misleading. It projects a wrong picture. The truth is, I just live every moment of being free. Call it a perverse set of thoughts. I don’t care. I live and do not impede others to live. My idea of survival might differ from theirs' but let me not indulge in a diabolic disapproval of others' lives. With different ideas, it would be pretty wise and judicious to display an even more beautiful and sound place. So let us try to express the magic of carving unusual pictures, just how I enjoy it. Simple up to the brim.

But before that, answer me. Do I make sense?

________________

That Which Cannot Be Expressed.

You don't know which thing might move you to tears unless you experience it. You don't know which thing might touch your heart and take you to another land unless you feel it. You don't know what is there beneath few lines unless you breathe along with every word of it.

Sigh!

Few days back, my friend introduced me to the poetry of one of the most outstanding poets and philosophers Jalal-ad-Din Rumi, a Turkish Sufi. Honestly, I carried some knowledge about this great man but never really spent time to read his fantastic work...his quotations.

Yes, that day in the metro I gulped in some of his most throbbing words and experienced something that I can never articulate in few expressions. It is either indeed ineffable or I am too naive or callow to look for some worthy appreciation. All I can say is that this man's words which were recorded somewhere in the 13th Century moved a teenage girl to tears in the 21st Century. See how amazing it is. We say that people change with time but do you find any change in the inner soul of every homosapien? For I believe that many before me would have shed tears while reading the same lines. Many before me would have felt a strong and powerful connection the way I did. So how am I different to those nth number of people?

Think.

Anyway following is the one that I am talking about. You can read his other quotations here.

“Like This 

If anyone asks you 
how the perfect satisfaction 
of all our sexual wanting 
will look, lift your face 
and say, 

Like this. 

When someone mentions the gracefulness 
of the nightsky, climb up on the roof 
and dance and say, 

Like this. 

If anyone wants to know what "spirit" is, 
or what "God’s fragrance" means, 
lean your head toward him or her. 
Keep your face there close. 

Like this. 

When someone quotes the old poetic image 
about clouds gradually uncovering the moon, 
slowly loosen knot by knot the strings 
of your robe. 

Like this. 

If anyone wonders how Jesus raised the dead, 
don’t try to explain the miracle. 
Kiss me on the lips. 

Like this. Like this. 

When someone asks what it means 
to "die for love," point 
here. 
If someone asks how tall I am, frown 
and measure with your fingers the space 
between the creases on your forehead. 

This tall. 

The soul sometimes leaves the body, the returns. 
When someone doesn’t believe that, 
walk back into my house. 

Like this. 

When lovers moan, 
they’re telling our story. 

Like this. 

I am a sky where spirits live. 
Stare into this deepening blue, 
while the breeze says a secret. 

Like this. 

When someone asks what there is to do, 
light the candle in his hand. 

Like this. 

How did Joseph’s scent come to Jacob? 
Huuuuu. 

How did Jacob’s sight return? 
Huuuu. 

A little wind cleans the eyes. 

Like this. 
When Shams comes back from Tabriz, 
he’ll put just his head around the edge 
of the door to surprise us 

Like this.” 
― Rumi

__________________

Time for some good news now: I feel elated to announce that Mirage got it's first award by two of my lovely blogger friends. Yayyyyy!!!! It is a complete honor to receive the award. Thank you so much Keirthana and Sumitra. You both made me SOOOOOOOO HAPPY.

<3 <3

Is It Bad To Gamble?

For once,

Converse with that dicey turn of your life.

You scared? Don't be. It won’t eat you up darling.

For once,

Open the windows which you turned your back to.

Feel how the winter air feels.

The one that makes a chill run down your spine. Enjoy it!

For once,

Don’t save the blessings,

Untie them. And multiply.

For once,

Face the real you.

You are ugly yet beautiful.

For once,

Just gamble.

****

Refill the void.

Empty the darkness.

Blow out the drab. Make space for

The worthy desires.

******

Picture source

Written for : Thursday tales and Haiku heights.

Hypocrisy Is In Our Veins.

Few days back, I was talking to a friend of mine (she's actually my roommate) about how India was a very broad-minded country and how its thinking was narrowed down because of the Mughal rule. Every time I think about it, I find it hard to believe that my ancestors were cool about love and sex. And here I'm talking about the era much much much before the Mughal Empire and before all that nonsense of pardah-system came into being and before a woman was treated not just as a piece to be protected and kept inside the four walls but as a symbol of Shakti.

Have you ever visited Ajanta Ellora caves or observed its carvings? Have you noticed how explicit they are apart from being one of the most amazing archaeological sites in India? Or Kamastura-a book written by Vatsyayana, an Indian. Or even the ‘Shivling’ which is a symbol of deity of Hindus i.e., Shiva and which represents the inseparability of the two genders and creation of life. Although our very own culture gives a divine nature to sex, we treat it as immoral. Ironical indeed.

Now let us come to the no-love-before-marriage cliché.

Love is something very godly. Yes? But we Indians have a different theory. We do find it divine but when it comes to our own children falling in love with someone else’s children we close our eyes and ears and go into an I-will-not-use-my-mind-no-matter-what mode. According to the views of our parents and their parents and so on, a person is selected for us and we are told to fall in love, marry that person and have sex with that person, procreate 3-4 children and make a happy family and lead a happy life. Wow! Such a well mechanised ideology. Huh.

Further, girls can hang out only with girls and boys can hang out only with boys till they are married off. A spark of doubt is ignited in their heads,the moment we tell our parents that we were with a friend of opposite gender.

And yes, how can I forget one more important notion which says that the seed of love can never sprout before marriage. It is a shame and should be crushed immediately if it does because the ideology tells us that it’s wrong. A spinster and a bachelor cannot fall in love. It is a slur. It is immoral. Ask them a reason and they will come up with ‘Tumhari abhi padhne ki umar hai’ (You are young and you should just study) or ‘Hum badhe hain, hume zada pata hai’ (We are elder to you, we know better).

Logic? Uhh...What’s that?

Sometimes I wonder that these simple things of life would have had an entirely different meaning if I were born in a nation of deep-seated and radical ideology, where I would have had freedom to not just SURVIVE on others’ terms and conditions, where this famous line ‘Do what your heart says’ would actually have carried some weight in my life and where people would have used their minds before using what had already been implanted in their heads by their ancestors.

“Only animals are told what is to be done and how it is to be done. We are no less than animals if we don’t use our brains.”, Divyank told me today.

__________________________

How impossible

It is to live on our terms.

Damn! Hypocrisy.

*****

The above Haiku has been written for the prompt #89 - Haiku Heights

Image source - deviantart

Breathe.

Break bricks around you

Move out of the labyrinth

Breathe once and live twice.

*****

Written for : Haiku Heights

Image Courtesy : deviantart

Strings.

Laced up together

Materialistic strings

Beneath Love's veneer.

*******

Written for: Haiku Heights
Image courtesy: We heart it

Beauty Lies Within! :)

"Urgghhh...it's going to be a bad day", I thought to myself as I woke up today at around 12:30 in the morning (I mean 'afternoon'). Yeah I know I'm a late riser and my parents are always after my life because of the same. But what do I do cause I can't really help it. This is like my weakness. I so love to sleep and have made many records of waking up late. :P :D


Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I had already presumed that it's not going to be a good day. And this feeling was accrued to my bad health and my friends going out without me. I was just recovering from my one week long Viral fever that yesterday, I ended up falling sick again. This time it's some kind of rashes all over my skin and I so so so damn hate them. Huh!! :/ :(
Kajal called up in the morning and asked me if I was in a position to go out with her and Bhumika. I badly wanted to go but this sickness spoiled everything and compelled me to say a "No".


So in a nutshell, I was frustrated. I had no idea what I would do sitting all alone on a Sunday. "Wait...did I say Sunday??? Oh my god, it's a Sunday...yay!!!" And soon I rejoiced over this thought and I'll tell you why.


Every Sunday brings me a piece of quintessential form of quietude. It brings me an insight of my city people and their lives. It brings me a taste of others’ tough situations and how they subdue it. All in all it brings me Soul Curry. The readers of The Times of India must have seen or read this column in the Times Life edition of Sunday Times.

So I was quite elated when I realized that today I would get to read my favorite column. And as I’d thought, the story of Padmini Rao (the writer of today’s edition) did help me in making my day better. How amazingly she described the meaning of beauty. That it’s not just colorful flowers, waterfalls, and lush forests etc. It is something more than that. Something, which lies in a child’s innocence or in chirping of birds. Her portrayal of a small potted plant as a symbol of dauntlessness, resilience and hope amidst the callous surroundings made me think that one is the pilot of one’s own life.

One can always make his own life better. It is not necessary to have positivity all around. What is important is how one, with a sanguine soul, makes the surroundings worth-living. Beauty, not only lies in a pretty landscape or in the magnificence of nature. It also lies in the marvels of a little ant making its way through all the impediments to carry food and in the effort made by Salmon fish to travel back to the fresh water (which is very harmful for its skin and ultimately results in its death) to lay eggs. Beauty cannot be derived from our environment. Our environment is beautiful only when we feel beautiful from within.

And like Rao wrote in her article that beauty, ugliness, heaven and hell are all our creations!!

Life as a Mirage.

           (This picture is not googled but clicked by me as I so love photography.)

Few days back, while I was trying to study and concentrate on my Legal Methods' notes (externals are round the corner, actually), I came up with a beautiful line.

"Beneath a facade of scarred thoughts, there's always a subtle satiny desire."

My friends laugh at me when I say that 'nobody is bad'. They say that I'm blind-folded and I don't know anything. They say that the world is full of back-stabbers and that there are hardly any genuine persons left. I disagree with this negative belief. I disagree because I strongly believe that behind every wrong thought there is always a camouflaged positivity.

It's true that we all are different souls and so we all tend to have different perception. What looks good to me might look weird and pathetic to another or vice-verse. But if one tries to look through someone else's view point then it is possible to justify a 'scarred thought'. It's simple to understand. If I say that so-and-so person doesn't have basic civic sense and say crap about the same then what is important to note here is that somewhere down the line I have this 'subtle desire' to make that person behave 'normally' which he/she is not doing...according to my own perception. Or let me take another example...another 'scarred thought'....envy. Hmm...very common! So if I am envious of some XYZ then one should try to see the positive desire of mine which says "Whoa...this person is lucky...I so want to be like him/her". But unconsciously, we all close the eyes to the good side and simply highlight the dark and bleak side. As a result, we end up thinking that others are ill-willed personalities.

I know such a deep thought don't help always...like in everyday situations but it surely does when one feels low and dull. At least to me, it does. Like a refuge...like my own mirage of beauty and peace....where all are good, where everyone love each other, no fights, no cries, no negativity, no fear. A mirage which shows me that all are happy and I'm happy.

This is why I believe in what I think. This is why I say that life as a mirage is beautiful...life as MY mirage is beautiful. :)

Anyway friends, I think it's enough for now and plus it's Christmas time...so let's keep all our worries aside and enjoy. And my dear Santa...I hope this time you'll get me some good marks cause it's the need of the hour. :P :D

Ho ho ho....MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! =)

             (And this one is obviously googled...I found this little Santa really cute.)