You are More Than an Inspiration, Brother.

I visited him yesterday. He is very weak, fragile and unconscious. His eyes are yellow because of Jaundice and are open since many days. He can't close them as the brain has almost stopped functioning. The doctors have discharged him from the hospital because they say that they have no idea how long he would be in this coma-like state and that there is nothing more they can do. No treatment, nothing!

The one thing which is good, is that he is no more in excruciating pain.

Earlier, I was told that I shouldn't see him in this condition as it would be too much to handle and this glum picture of his would be stuck in my memory forever. But they were wrong! It gave me so much satisfaction just to watch him there, lying in calmness and peace. Yes, he looked extremely delicate and frail but I did not fear even a bit. Why would I? He is my brother after all. So what, if at 40, his body is as weak as that of an old man's. It narrates a tale of his brave and valiant battle with the world's most dangerous form of cancer. It narrates a tale of his determination with which he tried his best to quell the bitch. Nobody could ever portray the kind of mettle spirit he did, during the past one year. 

He is a lot more than an inspiration! To me, to the family and to his friends.

All through the months, even in immense pain, he always cradled a positive outlook. Having learnt the art of meditation, he detached himself from trivial, flimsy and all other kind of worries of the world.

Day before yesterday, my mother told me that out of many, the last thing which he taught her was not to love his body but his soul, his teachings and his way of life. For he will always be there in the heart.

Death has nothing to do with going away.

The sun sets

The moon sets

But they are not gone.

~ Rumi

For both his daughters, he has left something so beautiful which I cannot put into fine words. He has written a diary filled with so many precious teachings for life. It is hard for me to express how moved I was when yesterday, I sat down in a room all alone, and read those pages. They gave me goosebumps! All I wanted to do was just read them over and over again and cry to them forever. I can only imagine how relieving those tears would be. Even now, while I'm making an attempt to tell you how soothing it was, I can't fight back this urge to read it once more. For that is the one thing which would be the most priceless asset: An exquisite father-daughter thing!

Here is a picture which I clicked sneakily.

We don't know how much time is left now. We don't know when we would get the impending news. Hope has faded into sheer nothingness. And yes! We all are preparing ourselves for the worst. Even his wife, the strongest of all, who always greets us with a big smile, has become the pillar of the family. She is a brave woman and doesn't stand a tinge of pity from anyone. Last evening, she told us how dearly my brother wished to have a little get-together with family and friends but his deteriorating condition disallowed him.

Sigh!

Anyway, as the day ended, I made a promise to myself to learn the art of meditation. I have already added it to my wish list and shall soon work towards fulfilling the same. As he, in the diary, wrote to his daughters that whenever life gets tough, just meditate and face it and it will be good again.

Love you beyond everything, brother!

On a lighter note, last evening, I received a lot of appreciation for my recently published poems. Of course, I, without a fail, kept flying higher and higher.

Wait, haven't I told you that I got published again? Yes!!! And this time it is an online magazine Tamarind Rice. Go search me and read my poems.

Accolades To My Favorites. =)

The year 2011 has been very good to me and has given me tons of reasons to celebrate and to feel grateful of my stars. And this is the reason I was thinking a lot lately to find out a good outlet to release some of the emotions by letting the world know. And this is what I came up with. It’s going to be a real lengthy post but please bear with my over-sentimental heart. Like I said, I needed an outlet. And the craving ends here.

(There is no order. And the idea has been shamelessly stolen from Crystal.)

Crystal- I know almost all of you are aware of this prodigy that we have in our blogosphere. Those of you who do not, should go die. Or rather should not waste any further time and visit her blog asap. She is without a doubt one of the most excellent and ardent writers that I’ve ever come across. I am so addicted to your blog. And each of your post leaves me awe-struck. Keep up the good work, Crystal. I will always love you.

Pradeeta a.k.a MSM- Another one of my favourite blogger stars. As her blog name suggests, mystique is her forte and she has got a great command over it. Her stories and posts leave my inner wanderer in search of answers to her questions. I love her a lot as a person as well as a writer. She is a darling. And I am so glad to see her back as it’s been so long that I read any of her amazing works. Missed you!

Fiona- She is also a very famous blogger and has recently created a craze of Fibonacci Sonnet. And many, including me, have been a proud part of this craze. But apart from this, she is a brilliant and an enthusiastic writer too. Oh and how can I forget those amazing comments which I get from her! Trust me, she is such a sweetheart that she can make you jump around in ecstasy by her honey-dipped feedbacks. Very few bloggers take out time to actually read other bloggers work and give a genuine feedback and she is one of them. I am so glad to know you Fiona. Shall keep in touch always!

Red- She is Ms. Anonymously witty and humorous in every possible way. I love the way she writes. Her posts make me smile and laugh a lot. Yes, it happens very rare that I laugh out loud while reading an article but it is definitely not the same with this girl. Her sense of humor brings all the charm. And it is a sheer delight to read her blog. I rarely miss reading her blog. And suggest you the same for a good rib-tickle.

Maithili- She is the master mind behind our all girls blog ‘Darlings of Venus’. Being a lovely story weaver, she grips the readers with her words and fills the void spaces with intense and deep emotions that sometimes it becomes really hard to accept the fact that it is just a story and not some real life incident. She writes many amazing series of love stories at her blog ‘One Such Story’. You have an honest heart, Maithili. Stay the same, always.

Yashi- She is a great friend of mine and is one of the best things that has happened to me in college. But without being biased, let me tell you friends that her writings are absolutely stunning. She is a newbie here but doesn’t seem one if you read her posts. I feel so proud of you Yashi. You are a wonderful writer. And please don’t forget that I always keep my antique watch with me as I wait to read more of your work. *Govinda styled wink*

Phatichar- That is just his blog user name. I know it is weird to refer to someone with that name. But this man has his own way to do things. He mostly writes spooky tales in the simplest form and narrates them in an outstanding manner. And I can guarantee you that he can rip your soul apart with the kind of fear that he creates in the mind of the poor reader. You don’t believe me? Then go read his blog. And one more thing, actually it’s kind of a warning - If you have a soft heart and get scared easily (like me) then do not read his posts AT NIGHT. :P

PeeVee- Okay this girl calls herself Ms. Chocolate Obsessed and has got a huge fan following. Needless to say, she is one of my favorite bloggers. Her short stories are simply awesome. And recently I got to see the abstract side of hers which was, without a doubt, an enthralling piece of literature. I love the way you put your thoughts into words. Smart yet so cute. And I adore you miss, totally!

Shruti- She doesn't write the usual stuff which you can find anywhere on the blogosphere or even if she does then she would never put it in the most usual form. Yes, that is what I have deciphered after reading many of her blog posts. Intriguing and deep! Her words can seep through the strongest wall and can touch your heart with an absolute ease. You are a fantastic writer, Shruti. You have always been one.

Dishita- She is my only Gujju friend in this blogworld. Her posts are simple, smart and quite entertaining too. We have a strong Haiku bond and she carves striking haiku poetry. You should definitely give her a visit because I can assure you that you won't face disappointment. I’m happy to have known you, Dishita. Love you a lot.

The Solitary Writer- I call him Chacha Nehru. Why? Because I am just like his kid sister and he has a soft corner for kids. And so, the name. *Heights of lameness* He was my very first friend here and has seen the transition of the writer in me. A very nice person to have some good talk with and as a writer he just takes you to another world with his heartfelt stories. I've read many of his posts and suggest order you to do the same.

Yvonne- She is one of my newest pals. And I'd like to mention that she has published two books as well. Impressive right?! :) What I like about her writings is the simplicity and those perfect rhyming schemes in her poems. She always leaves me surprised with the kind of poetry she does. I’m so glad to have you as a blogger friend as I learn a lot from you. Keep writing, Yvonne!

Suruchi- We have a Kanpur connection. And this was the first thing which dragged me to read her blog and believe me I haven’t stopped after that. She is the coolest English teacher I have ever seen or will ever see in my whole life. A fun-loving and down-to-earth lady, she is. And oh! her adorably cute daughter Seeya, how can I not mention her! You should definitely read her latest post and I’m sure it would leave a smile on your face.

Stranger- A very interesting blogger buddy of mine. He is also a newbie but that doesn't stop him from gripping the reader with his sharp words, till the end. And I would like to suggest you Mr. Stranger to write quite often because I wait to read your work. Alright? *Crosses arms*

Soumya- Her crisp, striking and candid words carry the charisma of her blog. She is an alluring person and has the caliber to make you lose yourself in her writings. I enjoy reading her blog and it’s absolutely a pleasure to receive her feedback. Love you, Soumya! :-*

Chandana- The girl at First Avenue is definitely a very pretty girl and is a brilliant writer as well. She is a fashion blogger and the best thing about her is that her fashion quotient is suited for everyday wear and not something which is all bling bling and difficult to carry. And apart from this, the simplicity and audacity of her posts never fail to enthrall me. Keep writing friend! :)

Anshul a.k.a Blasphemous Aesthete- (Yeah, I got to know your real name. Finally!) He is one hell of an intelligent and philosophical person. And has just become active from his months long dormancy. A very popular blogger too, he takes you to another land with his writings be it in English or in Hindi. You should never stop writing friend. Make full use of the talent you have.

Writing Bee, Confused Soul, Dee, Sumitra, Keirthana, Rachit, Lizzie, Rahul sir, Balqis and Twisha- You people have made me smile a lot many times with your gorgeous writings and kind feedbacks. I so appreciate your presence on my blog and feel blessed to have met you all here on this little platform. Though I’m pretty new to you all, I’m deeply impressed by each one of you. Keep up the good work friends. You all write fantastically.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!

*****
P.S: Heartfelt apology if I've forgotten anyone's name.

You'd Be Carl And I'd Be Elle.

Maybe a year is never enough. Maybe what we hear is a lie and what we live is the only truth. And maybe it is just a way to keep the obsession out of our reach. Or maybe I write incessantly when I get a little soppy.

Whatever it is, it is beautiful in every way. It is beautiful even if it is imperfect.

So let us give a goodbye kiss to the year which has been exceptionally good to us and welcome the next one with open arms. Let us relish those days and nights drenched in the most beautiful shades which needless to say, changed our way to perceive life and all other things which came along the way. Let us promise to keep chasing cars and to kiss the flower of our love which has begun blooming to spread its scent. And let us be rock solid forever.

Happy 27th of December!

And I Am Soaked In Your Shades.

The footsteps I trail when I am lost.

The melody I nourish for the resilience of my thoughts.

The cheek bones that turn glum into glee.

The dauntlessness I carry through the picture I perceive.

It is you. It is all you. It will always be you.

*****

Picture Source : deviantart

Her Father, Her World

Dear papa,

I don’t know how to start. So many fragments of memories are flashing before my eyes as I sit here to pen down my love for you. It seems so difficult to put it into words. There’s an over-whelming feeling in my heart which is all the more magnified because today's my marriage. And from tomorrow, your little girl would become a wife and a daughter-in-law too. But you know what Papa, I'm not scared. 

Yes! your girl is not scared and it's all because of you. You have taught me to face life's ups and downs with sheer dignity and confidence. You have always cradled me with your unconditional love and support. The way your teachings and morals have beautified my soul is actually incomparable, Papa and I really admire you. I admire you as a person of gravity and substance.

  

Every single day when I see your face and see that smile which you always have for me, I feel so so so blessed.

*Thank you, God!* 

You are and will always be my favourite man. And I promise that I will never let you down.

Love you more than you’ll ever know!

Your little girl,

Nisha.

P.S: This painting is an outlet for my infinite love for you. I hope you like it. :)

(Image Source)

**********

I have written this post in response to the latest prompt at Thursday Tales.
And co-incidentally, it is going with the occasion i.e., Father's Day. =)

Beauty Lies Within! :)

"Urgghhh...it's going to be a bad day", I thought to myself as I woke up today at around 12:30 in the morning (I mean 'afternoon'). Yeah I know I'm a late riser and my parents are always after my life because of the same. But what do I do cause I can't really help it. This is like my weakness. I so love to sleep and have made many records of waking up late. :P :D


Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I had already presumed that it's not going to be a good day. And this feeling was accrued to my bad health and my friends going out without me. I was just recovering from my one week long Viral fever that yesterday, I ended up falling sick again. This time it's some kind of rashes all over my skin and I so so so damn hate them. Huh!! :/ :(
Kajal called up in the morning and asked me if I was in a position to go out with her and Bhumika. I badly wanted to go but this sickness spoiled everything and compelled me to say a "No".


So in a nutshell, I was frustrated. I had no idea what I would do sitting all alone on a Sunday. "Wait...did I say Sunday??? Oh my god, it's a Sunday...yay!!!" And soon I rejoiced over this thought and I'll tell you why.


Every Sunday brings me a piece of quintessential form of quietude. It brings me an insight of my city people and their lives. It brings me a taste of others’ tough situations and how they subdue it. All in all it brings me Soul Curry. The readers of The Times of India must have seen or read this column in the Times Life edition of Sunday Times.

So I was quite elated when I realized that today I would get to read my favorite column. And as I’d thought, the story of Padmini Rao (the writer of today’s edition) did help me in making my day better. How amazingly she described the meaning of beauty. That it’s not just colorful flowers, waterfalls, and lush forests etc. It is something more than that. Something, which lies in a child’s innocence or in chirping of birds. Her portrayal of a small potted plant as a symbol of dauntlessness, resilience and hope amidst the callous surroundings made me think that one is the pilot of one’s own life.

One can always make his own life better. It is not necessary to have positivity all around. What is important is how one, with a sanguine soul, makes the surroundings worth-living. Beauty, not only lies in a pretty landscape or in the magnificence of nature. It also lies in the marvels of a little ant making its way through all the impediments to carry food and in the effort made by Salmon fish to travel back to the fresh water (which is very harmful for its skin and ultimately results in its death) to lay eggs. Beauty cannot be derived from our environment. Our environment is beautiful only when we feel beautiful from within.

And like Rao wrote in her article that beauty, ugliness, heaven and hell are all our creations!!

A Hope-filled Letter.

Dear Life,

This is for the first time I'm writing a letter to you. I thought to give you an idea how you made me feel this year because after all, you deserve to know every bit of it.

So starting from the beginning of the year till somewhere around August, you were, kind of, very cruel to me. With more downs than ups, you shuddered me inside out, zillion of times. From board exams to entrances, from results to despondency, from concrete dreams to wavered paths, nothing was easy. People said not to worry as it's a part of life. I tamely listened. I did not complain at all and bore it with all my strength. Things were agonizingly tough. And I'm not exaggerating it when I say that I was on the verge of losing control of the 'I' in me. God, this was the worst thing that happened to me in 2010. I know that all the bumps which you placed, were for my own benefit. They taught me so many lessons and turned me into a stronger and more experienced girl. But what I did not like is the fact that somehow, most of the months passed in a monotonously dull and dark way. It was like an unequal balance between the dosage of good and bad times. And you very well know which side was heavier.


Anyway, after the beginning of my college, things began to fall into place. At a slow and steady pace, you took a novel turn. I enjoyed the change or rather the masqueraded 'stability' which you offered me. So it was like after a long time, you finally showed some mercy on me and made me happy and content. Thank you so much for that :)


Now, let me cut the long story short. My dear life, you have troubled me pretty much this year and now that I've learnt some lessons, I want you to fill the emptied holes with lots of happiness, goodies, love and peace. I want to enjoy my every single moment sans your unnecessary bumps. I want to stenghthen my confidence and gain back full control of the 'I' in me. All in all, I want you to make 2011 one of the best years of my life. And I really hope that you won't disappoint me. Right?


Anyway, I should now end my first letter to you. Don't worry, I'll keep in touch and keep giving you updates. Till then, please do take care of me. :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


With lots of expectations
Vinati

Life as a Mirage.

           (This picture is not googled but clicked by me as I so love photography.)

Few days back, while I was trying to study and concentrate on my Legal Methods' notes (externals are round the corner, actually), I came up with a beautiful line.

"Beneath a facade of scarred thoughts, there's always a subtle satiny desire."

My friends laugh at me when I say that 'nobody is bad'. They say that I'm blind-folded and I don't know anything. They say that the world is full of back-stabbers and that there are hardly any genuine persons left. I disagree with this negative belief. I disagree because I strongly believe that behind every wrong thought there is always a camouflaged positivity.

It's true that we all are different souls and so we all tend to have different perception. What looks good to me might look weird and pathetic to another or vice-verse. But if one tries to look through someone else's view point then it is possible to justify a 'scarred thought'. It's simple to understand. If I say that so-and-so person doesn't have basic civic sense and say crap about the same then what is important to note here is that somewhere down the line I have this 'subtle desire' to make that person behave 'normally' which he/she is not doing...according to my own perception. Or let me take another example...another 'scarred thought'....envy. Hmm...very common! So if I am envious of some XYZ then one should try to see the positive desire of mine which says "Whoa...this person is lucky...I so want to be like him/her". But unconsciously, we all close the eyes to the good side and simply highlight the dark and bleak side. As a result, we end up thinking that others are ill-willed personalities.

I know such a deep thought don't help always...like in everyday situations but it surely does when one feels low and dull. At least to me, it does. Like a refuge...like my own mirage of beauty and peace....where all are good, where everyone love each other, no fights, no cries, no negativity, no fear. A mirage which shows me that all are happy and I'm happy.

This is why I believe in what I think. This is why I say that life as a mirage is beautiful...life as MY mirage is beautiful. :)

Anyway friends, I think it's enough for now and plus it's Christmas time...so let's keep all our worries aside and enjoy. And my dear Santa...I hope this time you'll get me some good marks cause it's the need of the hour. :P :D

Ho ho ho....MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! =)

             (And this one is obviously googled...I found this little Santa really cute.)