This.

“For poems are not words,

after all,

but fires for the cold,

ropes let down to the lost,

something as necessary

as bread

in the pockets of the hungry.”

— Mary Oliver

...

Timelessness

Picture Source

What if it's all untrue! What if it's a very bad joke which adamantly refuses to get over, a lie which cannot be comprehended and brought out in the open, a facade of emptiness, of hollow lives, dreams and laughter which can never be broken. What if his absence has not been lingering in our lives for a year now. A year!

I want to be insane for a while and forget that it has been a year since his battle came to an end and ours began. 

_______

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why..
     -Del Rey

Word.

Death has nothing to do with going away.

The sun sets

The moon sets

But they are not gone.

~ Rumi

The Chapter of My Life - Twenty Thirteen.

As the curtains are being drawn and the year is nearing its end, I curl up in my blanket, play my favorite music and flip back the pages of this chapter of my life.

The story of getting published for the first time and watching my name on paper back gleaming silently among big reputed names. That pride which pervaded on my mother's face when I stood on the stage with many other talented poets. Ah! It was priceless.

The story of pestering my parents to allow me to live my passion to travel and experiencing some of the most breathtaking moments of my life. My first vacation with a bunch of friends!

The story of wearing a scarred face that wrested my confidence and crushed it to death and then gradually walking on the road of recovery and coming out as an even more beautiful person. I can look into the mirror and feel good about myself, again. And by all means, I have deserved it.

The story of watching a loved one turn into a wisp of memory lingering in our lives and learning that this reality is just as transient as you, me, our smiles and tears are. I learned that you don't have to be old to be strong and wise, you can be as young as nine and be stronger and wiser than all around you. The time when I watched my brother breathe his last breaths with unflinching calmness, I felt my heart pump nothing but sheer dread in my veins. I watched him lie there, fighting with fucking cancer while I curled up in agony within my fragmented sighs because I could do nothing. I was but a helpless soul flapping restlessly to find some solace, just a little scoop of solace to comprehend what was happening around.

I wish that day was a haze to me. I so wish!

This life, it is a big, scary labyrinth. We are but puppets crawling around in spirals which ultimately ends up in the same destination. I was literally surprised to see that people who call themselves my close friends, lurked behind the facade of a busy life or some other make believe crap when I badly needed a shoulder to cry on, when I wanted to kill my daunting fears and give an outlet to my feelings, layer by layer. I never confronted them. Never felt the need to do so!

-Charles Bukowski

It's really funny how the aftermath of one big accident can strip off so many beguiling lies which you've been living for long. But then again, isn't it better that those beguiling lies finally stand naked and one can leave them all behind and start afresh? Well, yes, it sure is.

With nth number of ups and downs, this chapter of my life comes to an end. Hope for a less bumpy new year for myself and for you dear reader. I never say this but you are way better than many of these people around because you listen to my woes and musings with utmost patience and stay by my side always.

Thank you for being real to me.

A very happy new year.

Love
Mirage
_____

"I suspect the truth is that we are waiting, all of us, against insurmountable odds for something extraordinary to happen to us."

- Khaled Hosseini
And The Mountains Echoed.

...

Charles Bukowski
(Source)