“So, how are you finding your new friends? I mean are you really enjoying this new college life?” one of my college friends asked me this, the other day.
And this question of his, stirred that ‘bizzare’ feeling which has been repelling me from the ‘new environment’ for the past so many days. I told him, “Well…I don’t know. I mean they are all nice and pleasant souls and college is also good but…..*a long pause*…. I’m not able to enjoy thoroughly.”
Now this was a really weird answer which I, out of no sense, gave to my friend. But frankly, I had or rather have, no single idea why I said so. I’ve no idea that even though I have made some good friends, I feel less connected to them, feel so aloof when I’m surrounded by my whole class, want to run away when I go out with them to spend some good time in a restaurant or a mall. I don’t feel totally attached to any activity or person or professor or anything related to college.
“May be you are a little reluctant to blend in”, he said to me. And I guess this is true. Somehow the ‘I’ in me is stopping and pulling me back. I’ve seen others of my age who are able to connect so very well with their new mates. Like on facebook, I see many people posting on their wall, “college life rocks” or “awesome college life”. It’s not that I envy such people. No…obviously not. In fact it is an appreciable thing. But I fail to understand that how can one call his college life ‘rocking’ just within a month or so? I mean something ‘rocking’ happens only when we have really good friends around. But how can some people make it happen so soon. Don’t they miss their previous life or don’t they miss their old friends?. Ain't they attached to those with whom they had knitted some beautiful memories?. I am not saying that 'change' is a bad thing or making new memories is something out of the ordinary. What I am wondering is how the sudden involvement of strangers in our life becomes so important. May be it is a common thing for most of us but for me it is not. I cannot just forget my good old friends and simply blend into the new-fangled crowd…at least not so early. It will happen…for sure…but will take time.
And these days, I’m completely flushed with nostalgia. I miss my past life, my school life, those slumber parties, playing hide and seek with my whole gang, having water fight in the break time, attacking on canteen’s super tasty food items, and talking and laughing and shouting and jumping and enjoying every moment ‘thoroughly’.
*sigh with a smile*
That was something ‘rocking’ for me and this is how I explain the term ‘rocking’.
I really hope that these happy holidays of Commonwealth Games will help me subdue the same. But you know what….there is a part of me that would never want this to happen and I love that part a lot. ;)