Friday, September 23, 2011

A Metro Ride.

If you reside in Delhi or NCR and travel by Delhi Metro or if you want to travel by Delhi Metro then following are the points you should know because they are not announced but observed, felt and experienced:

1) While boarding metro from a station which is super-duper crowded, just stand in a line and leave yourself lose. You don’t have to make an effort to walk in respectably. Or better omit the word respectably because I don't want to sound ironic, you see. So, I was saying that leave yourself lose, the whole crowd will push you in and you'll flow like a stone in a current, hitting here and there, pushed, crushed and pulled. And in the end, you will be in the metro. Ta-da!

2) Apply the same technique while getting out of the metro. It works. But one very important thing to note here is that do NOT be the last one in the group of those getting down because there are people outside who are waiting to get in asap and you being the last one are the most prone to bear severe impacts on your body and your mind or there are even chances that you might not be able get out of the metro. (Both has happened to me and the experience of the former was so awful that it made me yell ‘Fuck Everyone’ while I was struggling to relieve my pulled hair and my bag which was stuck somewhere in between and I’d  thought I wouldn’t be able to get it back.) To avoid it, try to be in the middle.


3) If you are a girl and want to get a seat then prefer travelling in general coach rather than ladies’ compartment. Simply because females wouldn’t offer you their seat unless you are pregnant or old or some lady who can constantly stare with a don’t-you-have-manners-to-offer-me-your-seat expression at those sitting. On the other hand, men will offer you a seat most of the times (age no bar) because they are in a habit of doing the same since time immemorial.

4) Further, if you are travelling by ladies’ coach then there are chances that some aunty with dark red lipstick and a suit so bright that you might curse yourself for forgetting your shades, ask you to adjust a little to fit in her big bums in that tiny space. Result: after sometime, she would be comfortably sitting and gossiping on phone while you would be barely managing on the one hand space left.

5) People tend to forget who they are or where they are when they plug in earphones and play some pathetic bollywood song. To identify this category, work with your ears. If you hear some strange voice humming or worse, singing a heart-wrenching Hindi song, just try to bear it because you don’t have any other choice. Do you?

*****

I'm sure you must have realized how deep my connection with Delhi metro is. It is so strong that even in my sleeps I get bizarre dreams related to metro. :P

(Image Source: Google.)

27 comments:

  1. Oh hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahhaah!
    I love metro! DelhiMetro. it has made travelling so easy and AC! I dont mind even standing. Its clean and if you are lucky or the timing is on your favor you get a seat and then an awesome journey!
    You are a funny woman...Its a compliment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL, metro and I share a bond that transcends verbal barriers :P Kripya mahilao aur varishth nagriko ko seat dein :D :D

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  3. Haha :) In New York City, we have the subway system, which is like this.

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  4. Never been to delhi metro, but had similar experience in mumbai locals.
    But, it just made my trips more adventurous, Oh, i so miss those days.

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  5. Delhi-metro-nightmares? Girl, you are really going down the drain. Obsessed with metro, eh? :P

    But. On a serious note, I have been "told" by a few about the Delhi metro, along the lines of your post. And now, I am convinced it is true.

    Well, as they say, facts are stranger than fiction, or something, something, right?

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL @ 3. *nods head vigorously*
    And oh oh , about 4. All those random aunties who have alot of very random questions they hurl at you. Grrrr!
    And well, the whole chaotic exuberant metros. Thank God for the wholesome entertainment they give us <3

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  7. LOL! I'll keep this in mind next time I visit Delhi ;)

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  8. Ooopss!

    may be you said that f*** people, when I was part of that.

    :) ..so thanks.

    hope you keep enjoying!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'd rather travel at times when the crowd is modest in number, or scarciest at its best. :P

    I am very weak at searing you see, even in the mind :P


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  10. @Red
    Getting a seat and having an awesome journey in Delhi metro has become the rarest of the rare thing.. :P
    And thanks for the compliment miss. :)

    @Sushmit
    AAAHHHH.... these announcements!! I swear they haunt me. :P

    @Eeshie
    I see. Hi5 then. :D

    @Dishita
    Actually I would prefer a better type of adventure than THIS. Hehe!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Arjit
    Yes yes! I'm so obsessed with metro but it is not by choice. Sachi muchi

    @Crystal
    :D
    Exactly! Travelling by metro is fun too.

    @Chandana
    You should. :D :)

    @Makk
    Haha..
    Ooops ooops! :P

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  12. @Blasphemous Aesthete
    Even I used to think this way. But that was one hell of an experience.

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  13. LOL!!
    I'm never getting in a metro ever:P
    I'm gonna stay at home till I save up enough to buy a car:D
    ;P

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  14. @ Priyanka

    Now that is a smart decision. ;)

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  15. I have travelled via Delhi Metro only once ... but that is only coz I don't live there ... i have to try it often on my next trip ...

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

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  16. Wow. Great Observation.... Definitely made it real for those of us who,for now,who have not yet had the experience of travelling by Metro and yeah loved the quirkiness of the post and the no.4 being my fave!!!

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  17. @Tanvi

    So I guess I've done my job in telling you the details of a real metro ride which you might face someday. ;)

    @Lipsy

    Hey thank you very much.. :) I'm glad that my weird experiences made someone smile. ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  18. 6. If there is a pretty girl sitting/standing close to you, please be careful and don't crack wasted (read:non-veg) jokes. And if you are in the habit of writing, do not keep staring at her eyes, they might mistake you as one creep.

    I completely agree with all the points up here! Write a part-II, I'm sure there would be some more points ;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. @Sourav
    I think that staring-in-her-eyes thing while writing something has happened with you...right? :P

    I'll come up with the next part only if I have some more experiences to share. :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yes, you've read that post. My intentions were not bad, really :|

    ReplyDelete
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